Should've Got a Smaller One

Yesterday afternoon was absolutely gorgeous. We decided it would be the perfect time to go get our Christmas tree. We started this tradition last year and my wife almost went to Menards to get the tree...NO WAY! We are going to the tree farm, I insisted. We got there and we happened to meet up with some friends. It happened to us last year too. Friends are great and make the experience much more fun. Anyway, my pregnant wife is like a green beret, she is dodging in out of trees with great speed and agility of a gazelle. I got the kid on my shoulders running around trying to track down mom. She finds one tree and we decide it just didn't fit the bill. So the search continued. There it was closely nestled in among other trees. It called out to us, "CUT ME DOWN I AM SICK OF LIVING! I WANT TO DIE IN THE COMFORT OF YOUR LIVING ROOM!" I just couldn't figure out why no one else had taken her. She was beautiful, perfect as far as trees are concerned. We got our picture before the tree met it's demise. I would suggest the killing of trees with your family. It is great!

As I began to cut the tree I notice that the trunk was a little bigger than last year's. I plowed through it with my daughter giving me encouraging giggles and squeaks. The tree toppled over and my wife was amazed at her lumberjack husband. I cleaned up the bottom a bit and managed to get it out in the open. That is when I saw my friend's trees. They looked like table top models compared to ours. I began to second guess our choice. Of course they began calling me Griswold. It was cool. As we began to throw our trees on the trailer I noticed the actual size of the tree compared to the others! HOLY CRAP it was huge! Shaquile vs Spud Webb. We Got it home, put it in the stand. The moment of truth, I cut off the netting and it just about shot me across the living room. I stood back in awe! It was huge it took up half our living room. We actually had to move some furniture around to have enough room. Then it happened. It fell over. We got it back up and I adjusted the screws in the tree stand and then let go! "GRAB IT, GRAB IT, GRAB IT" It fell over again. So my pregnant wife is holding the tree as I go out to the garage and grab two concrete blocks and some tie down straps. I somehow fanagled the straps down through the behemoth and tied it down to the blocks. All was well throughout the night. This morning I am sitting there looking at the beauty and I notice it is leaning and leaning. So I adjust the straps. Needless to say I am getting sand bags on the way home. My guess is the tree was not taken because it was too big. Maybe bigger isn't better but I am sure it will incite some interesting responses. My buddy came over and the first words were and I quote, "HOLY CRAP!"