The fam

It has been over a week since Jill fell into the arms of her Savior, Redeemer. I have had much time to reflect on the event.

I got the call around 6:00 Friday morning. I new something was up when my cell rang and wayne was on the other end. "Have you heard?" Heard what? "Jill is not doing good, it sounds like Matt all over again." My heart sank. I had this feeling like she wasn't going to make. I felt bad for not really holding out hope. I knew that I had to go. I called my boss got his voicemail and said, "screw it I'm going." of course that is what i said in my head. I met wayne at his house around 7:00 and we headed out. We talked about the usual stuff on the way down, occasionally we would be quiet. I believe we were both praying.

We got a call around Daniville that she took a turn for the worse.(we were headed to Indy where she was with her family for the weekedn) We flew the rest of the way there. When we got there I saw here dad and sister first. I gave them hugs, which was the only thing I could think to do. (tim keep your mouth shut...you will probably say something trite and offensive to try and comfort them, like this must be in God's plan...yeah right!) Anyway when I saw Jeff (the dad) i just about lost it. This man was so broken, I could literally feel the pain as I wrapped my arms around him. I love this guy and his kids. It was excrutiaiting to watch them. As time went on they gave the family their own waiting room.

As Wayne entered the room I knew it wasn't good. I pulled him aside and asked what was going on. He told me. Her body basically was shutting down, not much time. We gathered in a circle and prayed. Someone broke out in song, so we sang. The prayers were honest, heartfelt and I believe heard by our loving God. We hugged for a bit. I saw three people face down praying to the Soverign. As i was witnessing this awesome display of faith i was pulled to colossians. I was reminded that Christ holds all things together even in a chaotic time like this.

The doctor came in. she coded again. The grief was overwhelming. We prayed again but this time they were for her and suffering. They were already thanking God for what he had done through her life. But the pain was so real, so numbing. A few minutes later a different doctor came back and said she was gone. The family just stood there. All i remember was her son walking towards me, breaking down as he got to me. I held him and thought God thank you for letting me be here and love these people in this time of loss. Let me tell you, I was hurting but it was nothing in comparsion to pain the kids, Jeff, ffej, Kristi and all who were there and connnected to this beautiful lady were feeling.

I am totally amazed by the family's faith. It was an inspiration and totally humbling to witness. It is something that I will never forget. I pray that God will use me to encourage the family. Jill and Jeff did an excellent job of raising their kids to simply love Jesus. Jill had a childlike faith that was infectious. I will write about that another time.

I have to say this was rather theraputic but no way could encompass what really happened that day. If you haven't told your spouse or children that you love them, get off your butt and doing it.

peace.

Freshly Fired

Well...what can i say? I got fired today...no i didn't. I had to fire someone today. I really tried to reach out to this guy and encourage him to be honest. It didn't happen. This is my first job where I've had the authority to fire people. When I worked in a church there were a couple of people that I would have like to fire but since they were paying my salary that wasn't going to happen. (that is tongue in cheek)

no really...I have to say that I was a bit reluctant to do it but it had to be done. This is what was playing in my head before it happened. When is it time to stop giving the guy a break? How will firing him reflect on my faith? He probably doesn't care about my faith. Will he learn from his mistakes? Is this really the best time? Can i trust him? no. Is he going to continually cause the company problems down the road? Yes. That last question is hard for me to swallow. I don't know why, maybe because it sounds callous. I know that at times i have accused the church of being ran like a business maybe that is why it hurt me to do it. I truly wanted to be the church to this kid but because of business and his rotten character I just had to do it. I am just at a loss for words. I don't really know what to think. I will think and pray about it more tonight. I wish I could have done more of that, I was supposed to do it this Wednesday but due to his behavior today, he got the axe.

bob eat my shorts...polls!!!!!!!!!!!!! a guy can't make a silly mistake without hearing from his friends about it geesh...

Your momma is an electoral vote

I would love to blog right now but either:

1) I have insufficient data
2) It's too close to call
3) the poles haven't closed
4) i have to go pee

thank you and good night

You Are Not Far From The Kingdom of God

I have been gathering with some friends to take a fresh look at Jesus. We wanted to get know the personality of Jesus a bit better. Often times I would read something and look for the teaching which is not all bad. I sometimes would lose sight of the context in which it was said and the greater context of how it fits in with all of Scripture. What I have found is that sometimes the teaching is in how Jesus said something and who he said it too. For instance when Jesus was talking with the Pharisees and Sadducess, he would use phrases like brood of vipers, wicked and adulterous generations, whitewash etc... Then he would talk to the crowds and the disciples with parables and have a calmness to him. He would then later explain what he meant to the disciples in detail.

I have tendency to lump everyone in groups, teachers of the law bad, disciples good. Until last week at lunch i was reading mark and ran across something that i never noticed. Jesus told a teacher of the law, "You are not far from the Kingdom of God" 12:34. I just sat there dumbfounded. Once again I was in awe by this guy Jesus. You mean Jesus told a teacher of the law the same group of people that he called brood of vipers, wicked etc... that he wasn't far from the Kingdom of God. You mean people that are not in the "in Kingdom" can be closer to the Kingdom. What a beautiful mindset that is full of grace. This statement is haunting me. It is reassuring that I don't have to argue with people and or be bitter or frustrated because i don't' think people are getting it. (i know the guys answer was really good but what if someone just gets a glimpse into the Kingdom would there be a hunger created there?) God can slowly uncover whatever is blinding them and He draws them closer to His Kingdom. We are just people who need to have the right motives and plant seeds of hope, grace, forgiveness, love. God will draw them to himself.

Motives...What was peters motive in Matt. 16:22? Well Jesus knew and called one of the beloved disciples, Satan! Jesus is just. He doesn't show favoritism. He is interested in the heart no matter what box we fit in society.

I have to say that I am falling more in love with Jesus. He is a very complex person, duh he is God in flesh. It is good to look at Him from a different perspective.