Matt Bellows

What up? It has been awhile since I have sat down to write. I started a new job on the 21st of may and haven't had much time to sit down and reflect. That time is now but I have to put it off to share something that would shake anyone to the core.

I received a call last Friday night that Matt Bellows was in the hospital for pancreaitis. Drew said he was doing okay. Sunday morning at 7:23 Wayne calls and tells me Matt has been airlifted to madison because he went into cardiac arrest! I was totally dazed and confused, my heart sank. We had planned to go to the zoo in madison that day so we headed up to see Matt. On the way there wayne calls and tells us that Matt's condition was very grave. We got to the icu and matt's family was there and i felt like i should have done something but there wasn't anything I could do, so we left and went to the zoo.

Monday roles around and wayne calls me around 7:30 and says that matt will be leaving us, he has no brain activity. I couldn't believe it. My head was spinning all day long, praying for some sort of miracle. You see matt was only 22 years old. He was a young man on fire for God, his heart was golden. He was preparing to go to Portland, oregon to "do" church in unconventional ways. he was about playing a part in the advancement of God's Kingdom. I was very proud of him and talked to him briefly about what he was doing. He was very excited about living in a apartment, throwing parties for people and just being the incarnation to those he was around. Matt will be dearly missed and I was really curious as to what God was going to do through Him. I don't understand God at all and don't pretend to offer up some cheap, trite statement to console his family and friends. I would love to ask the question why but that never seems to get me anywhere. All i can do is trust God and have faith that his way is the right way. Matt passed from the finite to the infinite Monday. His crazy sense of humor,love for music, and unquenchable thirst for the savior will be missed. I don't know when i'm leaving this foriegn place to go home and what happened to matt has sparked a sense of urgency within me to see the Kingom of God.

Blessed are the pure in heart
for they will see God.

Matt saw God when he was in this strange place now he is face to face.

See you soon brother.

GOLF

Well i just finished another round of golf. I went with my buddies terry and aaron. We made great time around the course and i didn't lose any balls. Terry is great to golf with because he has some sort of black market connection, his whole truck is full of golf balls. He gave me 5 sleeves of titlelist golf balls, 2 sleeves of wilson distance or something, now i don't have to buy any balls for awhile. Anyway I was 1/2 inch from shooting 90 my putt slide right on by on the 18th! doah! I shot a 90 at Ledges a tough course with lots o water. It was a good morning. Golfing during the week will cease because my new job is 7-4 5 days a week. So it was my last gasp of freedom.

Took a Nap

This morning i rolled out of the bed to head to the gym loathing ever step to the car wishing I was in bed sleeping. I got in the car, cleared out the sleepy bugs and got on my way. I was relieved to see that my brother was not there yet. So i reclined the seat eagerly waiting his arrival. NOT. When I opened my eyes a half hour had slipped by and no brother! I fell a sleep in the car! I would like to say that I went in and worked out, lifted really heavy weights and such but i went home. I suck. I will never look like nick lachae or marky mark with this kind of discipline.

Big D

I like to call him Big D...not really, I've really never called him Big D but his name is Dan Carlson. He's a good friend and keeps me on my toes. Check his blog out.

Old Crap

Just parousing thourgh some stuff...if you would look at Here I Go Again you can see some frustations. I wrote this to spark some conversation with the elders but I never sent it out. This is just part of it...the rest of it sucks worse than this. Whatever I just thought I would share it with you.


INCARNATIONAL vs. ATTRACTIONAL

The church in it’s infancy only could look to Christ as the example they should follow as a church. God chose to enter into the human condition to usher in the Kingdom of God consequently bringing salvation to all peoples. It is one of the most perplexing and paradoxical events that has ever occurred in history: the God man. Jesus was fully human he was fully contextualized. God could have chosen another way to bring salvation but he didn’t. So we have to reexamine our Christology and let that transform our ecclesiology.

“The missional church is incarnational, not attractional, in its ecclesiology. By incarnation we mean it does not create sanctified spaces into which unbelievers must come to encounter the gospel. Rather, the missional church disassembles itself and seeps into the cracks and crevices of society in order to be Christ to those who don’t yet know him.” Frost pg. 12

Using this as a working definition and with the understanding of the theological implications of The Incarnation: Does the Incarnation shape the way we do church? If we are to look at the 1st c.c. it was purely incarnational in it’s approach to life. Their mission was to further the Kingdom not build or grow the church. They did this by going to the people and planting seeds. They chose to live with the people and the people took notice Act 2:47. Jesus told us to go and make disciples. It was about being with the people, loving, encouraging, being the incarnate Christ to the lost, the sick, the suffering. It is in this Incarnational approach that Kingdom is furthered and God adds (grows) to his church. The incarnational approach to ecclesiology is needed to reach those that have either been raised in a postmodern mindset or those that have developed one. (really to reach people period) This paradigm shift transcends generations; there are people in the 50’s to teens that have a hunger for Kingdom work. They desire to see the Kingdom in action. The incarnational approach is a mindset that must be developed in our ecclesiology.

When we look at our current model it does not reflect the Incarnation. If we look at our Sunday morning as “outreach” then we are blind to the meaning of the incarnation. It has been said that our sign is our biggest tool. What a shame. We try and attract people to the church instead of going to the people. We have a person whose job is strictly to make Sunday morning the best it can be, so it can be attractive to those outside the walls. I realize that it is critical that we do our best for God’s glory. But Sunday morning becomes the focus of “church.” We have separated ourselves from society and are calling people out of their sub-cultures into the church instead of calling people to the feet of the King and to take up citizenship in the Kingdom. There is a huge amount of people in Rockford that we are missing. We are good at “attracting” people from other churches or that have some church background in their history. If we want to reach the people who have no church background or who been burned by the church we have to send people, plant seeds, have a Kingdom focus.


This is obviously very brief. It is meant to spark conversation amongst brothers and to help each other re-think our ecclesiology. I am excited to enter into some conversations, please feel free to call me or email. I like to eat, so lunch or breakfast is always a great option.

Grace and peace

Tim

What will I miss?

My life seems to be in a whirlwind right now. My time is ending at church and with new life beginning elsewhere I haven't had much time to reflect. I am sure I will go into some mourning when I realize what I will be missing but excited as to what I will be gaining. I know one thing I will miss more than anything...greeting my beautiful children in the morning and hugging and kissing on them before I go to work. I won't be able to do that anymore with my "real" job. I'm sure the first couple of weeks I will be going through Maddie and Jude withdrawls but I trust that I am in the God's will and it's scary as heck. I will reflect on these momentous changes a little later when the fog clears. I will say this, my decision continues to be reaffirmed day after day. It is one of the saddest times in my life watching the bride suffer. Peace out.

The Bobo strikes again

Go to bob's page and leave a comment

New Beginnings

As I said in my last post that this would be a watershed week and it was. I resigned my position as Assc. Student Minister Sunday. I have to say that it was a relief. I have been struggling with what to do. I have been convicted that the way money is spent in my current church which I believe is not the way God intended it to be. The attractional model(read shaping of things to come) is in full swing. Everything that i felt i was opposed to was happening underneath my nose. I was caught in the middle of conviction and action. I prayed for ways out but God never opened a door so I stayed put and did my best to stay positive. It was several weeks ago that I saw a gentleman that I used to work for and he asked me for a business card so I gave it to him wondering what that was all about. I haven't had any contact with him for 6 years and we really didn't have any sort of relationship. Well last Thursday I had lunch with him and we talked about a spiritual matter but he also offered me a position which was not his intention at all. He is a believer and believes that God might have brought us together. I am thinking so! This is nothing that I ran after it was something that God brought to me, for me it was a test of faith. I am excited and freaked out about what God is wanting to do through this little group of people that I have been hanging out with call us crazy. I will keep you posted on what we are going to do about "church". I want to say thanks for listening to my rants about the "church".

What up chuck?

Reflection and introspection often cause pain. I've been listening to the now classic Counting Crows CD "August and Everything After". It was the summer of 95 that I bathed myself in this melancholy CD. I was a young punk,lost,cocky and I had the world figured out. My girlfriend and I just broke up after a 4 year relationship. It was done over the phone as she was 6 hours away. It was a mutual thing. I didn't believe in God and she did. She simply would not yoke herself to a person who did not follow Christ.

I remember that day like it was yesterday. Right after I got off the phone I went upstairs and cry like a baby with my mom. I was 20 years old and the world just crashed down on me. As this music conjures up the pain I was in, it sickens me to think of the pain I caused her. But it was through this pain and several druken stupors that God drew me to Him. I was trying to fill me life with whatever I could get my hands on and it just didn't work. It is funny that it was the relationships that I had formed with people from the church that help me realize the hope that was in Christ.

I accepted the grace that was extended to me by Jesus and married that crazy girl. I had no idea what He was getting me into. 9 years later I am thinking what happened to those relationships that help change the direction in my life. They were real but now they are in the periphary not really in focus. I work at a church that seems to talk out of both sides of it's mouth. What the hell am i doing? Not sure but I know God will teach me something through all this.

This will be a watershed week or couple of weeks for me. Some decisions will be made that will determine if I stay or go. I am desperately seeking God and His Spirit to guide me and make clear what I need to do. I just am in stupor (not a druken one but at times that wouldn't be so bad). Actually I have big dreams about what God can do here in Rockford through just a small group of people that he has surroned me with but I need something to make it okay to leave. Does that make sense? I guess being broke and not being able to pay the bills could be one sign right? Well anyway there always seems in suffering and pain the taste of grace and sweet mercy that flows down upon us undeserving turds. Grace and peace to you.

Murder of One Counting Crows

Does he tell you when you're wrong?
I've been watching youfor hours
it's been years since we were born
We ere perfect when we started
I've been wondering where we've gone

all your life is such a shame
all your love is just a dream

I dreamt i saw you waking up a hillside in the snow
casting shadows on teh winter sky as yo stood there
counting crows
one for sorrow
two for joy
three for girls and four for boys
you don't waste your life

I walk along these hillsides
in the summer neath the sunshine
i am feathered by the moonlight falling down on me

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