The Weekend
I am leaving Friday night for a brief retreat with 30 Jr High schoolers. I will let you now how it turns out.

Thankful
There are lots of things to be thankful for: family, friends, church, Jesus etc... I was struck the other day how God has blessed my life with all of the above. As Maddie was riding around my on shoulders just goofin around it was sweet music to my ears to hear her laugh and giggle. She tries to look you in the face while she is on your shoulders so it tends to get a bit acrobatic. Pretty soon she is flying through the air laughing, giggling, squealing, drooling and just having a blast. I truly feel blessed that God would allow me to be part of her life and I pray that He will continue to guide us as we try to teach and model Christ to her. I am thankful for my family and my brothers and sisters in Christ who continue to amaze me with their show of grace and kindness to this world. May we daily be reminded of the grace in which we live and be forever thankful.

Passion

I began to doubt the passion God has placed within me and thought it might just be arrogant, selfish Tim wanting to stand on a soap box. But this little insight help me.

"Our belief and feelings cannot be changed by a
choice. We cannot just choose to have different
beliefs or feelings. But we do have some liberty to
take in different ideas and information and to think
about things in different ways. We can choose to take
in the Word of God, and when we do that, beliefs and
feelings will be steadily pulled in a godly
direction." Dallas Willard

This is what followed the quote in the article.

"In other words, the will is moved by insight into
truth and reality, which in turn, evokes emotion
appropriate to a new state of the will. This is how
real inward change occurs. The consumer-based church
does the exact opposite, trying to motivate and
inspire people to choose to believe and do things they
really don’t believe. This approach does not result in
any lasting spiritual formation."

The article:

Am I Getting It?

Let me set the stage. Last night we had our annual harvest banquet or night of thanks or whatever. The food was good, the people were great, in my opinion the "program" pretty much rubbed me the wrong way the entire night, not mention I forgot to tape "ALIAS" Every time I hear the mission/vision statement of our church it makes me want to puke, "We want to be a healthy church we people can come and meet God and be equipped for life" blah,blah,blah puke! The night consisted of numbers of how many people were involved in each ministry, (the numbers were inflated at least concerning the student ministry) the budget, and so on... The numbers were misleading. I just get so sick of defining sucess by numbers. But there were a couple of moments were I felt God moving. We were playing some songs and people were giving their testimonies but of course that was cut short so we could get to the "sermon" and budget issues. All this leads me to the question of, "Why I am I so mad?" I just wanted to stand up and say this is load of crap. But I am pretty sure I would of had around 500 people thinking I was a raving lunatic. Am I reading to many books? I have just finished reading 2 books this week "The Search to Belong" and "Making Sense of the Church". They were both great books and they do make you think. Or is it that I am caught in the middle, I love the people but have huge issues with the "church". I am questioning everything, small group structure, our student ministry, finances and it becomes frustrating when there feels like there is no way out! My wife made me feel like poop when i got home from the harvest of numbers because i started complaining about the night and ripped on the vision/mission statement. She told me that all I do is rip on the church and then she asked me does the church do any good? "Of course it does!" I said. So here I am again. Caught. Can the church change in its current state or do we have to scrap everything? I know this is not a new question but it is one that I am struggling with daily if not hourly. Do I really get what it means to be the church, am I living it out in my own life? I hear a lot of talk about what the emerging church is but a lot of it seems almost paradoxial. I guess I will continue to read and question but I need not get so mad. God is still God and He is working in the present church despite how much the "emergent" culture wants it to change. Don't get me wrong I am with you but my attitude sucks right now...so thanks for listening to this rant.

i suck...trying to add a comment thing...computers suck.

Beer or No Beer

What is one thing that Homer Simpson and Hank Hill have in common besides their obvious good looks. The love of beer. They do enjoy drinking beer although I believe Hank is the more responsible drinker of the two. Tim get to the point. Okay...Jeremiah was in town the other day and we stopped at Old Chicago so he could get some Woodchuck Cider. On the way he asked me if I would be offended if he ordered a beer. I said no of course not, but did I really believe what I just said? As we began to gorge ourselves on dessert (we had already shoveled down tons of pizza) he asked me if I would like to taste it. I immediately began to give my pat answer: "I don't like the taste of alcohol (even though it has been atleast 6 years since I have tasted it), alcoholism runs in the family you know i just don't like it." Then yesterday I had lunch with a friend and we began to discuss the complexities of church and how I have been feeling frustrated. I brought up the point that we are trying to drag people out of the communities they are in and place them in church...a place that really makes no sense to them. Then he made a statement pertaining to beer. He said that most guys after a softball game go to the bar and have a few beers but he would not feel comfortable even though he drinks beer at home. He feels like the posistion he is in as an elder that it would not be beneficial for him to drink a beer with the guys. I believe that this is not just about beer but about our fear to be who we are and break into these communities and share in their lives. From the very beginning of my faith their has always been this cloud looming over of acceptable behaviors and if you begin to deviate you will get blasted. I believe at times the church and it's unwritten rules hold us prisoner. We are not willing to experience the freedom that Christ has given us. I still think that beer tastes like horse pee, although I have never tasted horse pee. I might be willing to try some Woodchuck Cider next time and see if I really do like it! I am free!

Hello....I have finally decided to enter Blogdoria which I believe is in the realm next to Mordor. Anyway...I hope this works. My buddy Jeremiah Smith writes copious amounts of blogpoo so he inspired me to get involved in this thing. I will probably not have anything witty or intelligent to say but I am interested in the rumbling of the Spirit which seems to be moving people in a direction away from the "insitutional" church to more of an organic body.

Peace out,

Tim